Chrono Circle is the Game Built For Homer
“[T]the point I’m making is that Chrono Circle is kind of like the Super Decathlon of rhythm videogames, that the President of Andamiro asked his employees to make a new rhythm game, and when one of the slaves asked what the game should be based on, the President shouted back: ‘All of them!'”
It Takes Two is Toxic Warfare
What do the writers at Learn to Counter think about one of the worst videogames ever made? Click the link to find out!
Magic’s 30th Anniversary Edition Is A Bit of a Gamble
“The real game is now in using printing presses to mass-produce an artificially-scarce product, on the path to a world where white nerds think they can put their children through college if they open one more pack and find that delicious Black Lotus.”
Hellblade is Other People
“Nobody has provided me with a good reason that I should be playing Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice when it is significantly more satisfying to COMPLAIN about it.”
The Bemani Pro League Is AAAwkward
“And in this moment, we can declare that the Bemani Pro League is a resounding success, a love letter and celebration of a genre that no one plays anymore and that would not have been cutting-edge if it had been released in the nineteenth century, produced by a company that hasn’t cared about the videogame business in over a decade.”
The Fortnite Secret Lair is the Best Fortnite Secret Lair Yet
“Thank you to both Epic and Hasbro for making this a-Peely-ing moment happen.”
A Message From Doom Eternal
ID Software and Bethesda Softworks are excited to reveal their plans for increased year-to-year operating revenues in the coming fiscal quarters!
Modern Warfare Prove Once Again Videogame Cannot Depict the Russia
“Why idiot Activision is not understand Russia people do not deserve the treatment?”
Why Google Stadia Failed
“It may seem unfair to say that Google Stadia has already failed, but the temporal rifts created by the platform have already revealed the future to highly-advanced organisms such as myself and I feel it is necessary to comment on them.”
Toxic Behavior – From Anonymous to Furious
“It’s more that nobody has “designed” anything, really, that the internet is a ramshackle bumfuck of a disaster designed by socially-awkward code monkeys who will be the first to go when we start murdering all of the robots.”
Toxic Behavior – A Primer on Human Nature
“…in order to understand why they are dumb, so that we can understand what ails our cutting-edge videogames, we need a primer on what I imagine actual researchers with actual degrees have to say about evolution and psychology.”
Toxic Behavior – Introduction
…a series of essays on how modern videogames turned humans into panicky animals.
Warcraft III is in Early Access
Blizzard Entertainment unveils their most exciting project since 2003!
The Sonic the Hedgehog Trailer Transcends Humanity
“I can only imagine the genius social commentary that awaits inside this cute thing’s little pooper.”
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